so my thyroid is a bitch.

i don’t know if it’s the dawn of a new year, but there are ~8 things i want to write about so here i am.

i mentioned, when i told the saga of my dumb wrist, that one of the key events of the whole thing was how my bloodwork came back with very not good, underactive thyroid levels. in the past few months, i have heard things like “i have no idea how you’re walking around” and “your thyroid is trying to kill you.” cool.

what most people didn’t realize was that – i wasn’t surprised. i actually have suspected for years that my thyroid is a hot mess. though i’ve gotten things tested a few times, i was always told the results were normal. also, i have felt like a garbage fire* for about half the time for the past five years or so.

i blamed myself, somehow. i told myself i was weak, and that i was just somehow a sub-par human. i told myself everyone else was better than me, at basic living. i pushed through exhaustion more times than i can remember, to the point of occasional collapse and frequent tears. i tried to come to terms with my own inadequacy, my inability to do as much as anyone else, my need for rest, my tendency to gain weight despite no changes in eating habits or activity and my subsequent failure to shed that weight despite torturous diets, my headaches and occasional full body pain that left me bedridden and moaning. with how i couldn’t, basically, create the “wild and precious life” that we’re all supposed to be chasing after. (i hate that fucking quote.)

i feel really, really bad for the ways i hated myself, now. you’d think i am relieved, to have a diagnosis and a fairly easy regimen of meds to get on, and i am. but more than that, i mourn for that poor girl who felt like shit all the time and then felt like more shit for feeling like shit.

all this time, i think, there was a reason. there was a real reason.

there are many things i excel at. with almost all of them, i pull through the best when my choice is “do the thing” or “run into that five alarm blaze.” i am great at doing the things that MUST BE DONE when things are dire, when the rest of the world is crumbling. i am not great at being proactive, at doing anything, when it doesn’t feel all that necessary. taking care of myself has never felt all that necessary.

and then it became very necessary. because i couldn’t get my wrist surgery until i got my thyroid under control.

i’m on a synthetic hormone now that replaces what my body isn’t making. it hasn’t been perfect. i felt much better for a while, but it turned out my dosage was a little high and i swung to the other direction, having an overactive instead of underactive thyroid. i felt as shitty as i always used to for most of december. i lost what i’m estimating is about 1/5 of the hair on my head. my weight has fluctuated, along with my hunger. i have been unable to sleep at night and therefore exhausted all day, and i have been anxious and on edge. but through all of it, at least i know i am trying.

and at least i know there’s a reason.

i wrote this last week and things have improved since then, though i know it’s going to be a balancing act for the rest of my life. still, all things told, i’m very, very grateful.

Posted on January 7, 2016January 7, 2016 by dominique 4

fireworks.

fireworks sometimes make me sad.

not as a concept, of course. i dig fireworks, especially the ones that glitter and sparkle in the sky for a while. i wish i could see them at times that aren’t the fourth of july or new year’s eve, and i like going to baseball games that have fireworks at the end.

for the duration of every fireworks show i have ever viewed, i’ve been a little bit anxious. because all i can think about, while this glorious, fire in the sky display is happening, is that it’s going to be over. it’s going to end and it will all be over and how will i remember, how will i hold on to something so pretty?

i’m terrible at endings. i mean, i don’t know anyone who claims a special talent for them, but – i am just so overtaken with anxiety at the idea of the clock running down. it is a very specific thing and ties right in with my difficulties making choices without seeing all of the options and my preoccupation with order and completion. but imminent endings, they are one of my undoings.

i got to see fireworks this year. i haven’t seen a solid display in several years, and i often remember my family heading down to jones beach to see the grucci show. i loved running around the sand dunes at sunset, and settling down on a blanket in the sand, and not knowing or caring about the horrible traffic jam we’d encounter on the way out, just getting lost in giant fire explosions over the ocean.

and as soon as they started, as always, i could only think of when they’d be over. how long would they last? how many would i get? would it be satisfying? would i feel cheated? how could i remember and hold onto every. last. one. and lord, it was so immediately exhausting.

so i said…how about not, this time? how about i just watch and enjoy what’s happening, put my phone away because i NEVER take a good fireworks photo, and just follow along. how about i just accept what is given me. how about i choose not to care when it ends.

and for the next fifteen minutes, that is exactly what i did. it was a beautiful show with good friends, just off the beach, and i felt so incredibly free to enjoy it fully.

Posted on July 6, 2015 by dominique 0

six months in

it’s a little over six months – almost seven, really, since my last day at work.

which is a funny thing to say because i assuredly still work. even if my boyfriend sees me still tucked into bed when he is venturing out into the cold in the morning (i’m sorry. i know that’s hard. forgive me.)

it’s hard from inside of self-employment, you guys. it is very hard. and that’s impossible to know before you head into it. you can read about it and you can be prepared for it but you cannot know it. and really, that’s alright. there is a part of dreaming where you should be dedicated to the good parts, the things that will sparkle and shine.

what it feels like from inside is this: am i doing enough for my clients? am i doing a good job, period? do i have too many clients? do i have enough clients? how do i decide what the right amount of clients is? i have other projects besides client work – when am i ever supposed to work on them? am i making enough money? what does enough money even mean? is there ever enough money? i’m not marketing myself. shit, i really should be marketing myself. i would love to do that training thing or go to that conference but its many thousands of dollars so lol. i finished a thing! i answered six emails! i get to pee and have lunch now! ugh, today is hard. am i allowed to go read a book now? i mean, that’s why i did this, right, so i’d be able to do whatever i wanted whenever i wanted? you mean that’s not how it works? i was lied to! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN, QUARTERLY TAXES?!? *gets email* oh, my client is thrilled with my work, i’m gonna go glow forever now.

so, that’s a lot. it is constant cacophony. i have no idea if it will be right for me forever – and i also imagine the shape of what i do is going to change over time – but i am enjoying the ride while i’m on it, right now.

here’s the good stuff. i was able to go see dear friends for two weeks, because i could take my work with me. i was able to go see a friend who has a six month old baby for a full day on a thursday. i do not really get up before 8 – yes i have seen all of the articles about the most productive people in the world getting up at ungodly times and i am just not interested. i have incredible freedom over my time and energy and i value that in a way that i don’t know how to describe in words.

the other good stuff is that business is really good and i am doing fine. i have not had to dig into my savings to support myself and keep up my share of my household monthly expenses. although the bouncer has been two hundred percent supportive and when we talked about all of this and potential financial instability, he offered to shore me up, i haven’t had to take advantage of that kindness and i am extraordinarily proud of that. (he did buy me a new computer, which was insanely generous). my inbox is totally full of work right now, which is sometimes intimidating but mostly amazing. i’ve been approached about big, exciting projects that scare the hell out of me, which makes me know that i should take them on.

the secret, the whole time, was that i didn’t quite believe that i could do this. i saved money as a backup plan, enough to support myself for a skint 9 months, and a solid part of me felt i would just run through it and then have to go get another job. and that might happen, someday, i know, but it hasn’t happened yet and i am mystified and thrilled and truly, for real proud of myself.

i’m also learning about a whole new world of self-care habits, and one of them is getting out of the house every day. i have what amounts to a two room apartment, with a huge bedroom and a living room/kitchen combo. the desk is in the bedroom (there is no room for it anywhere else), and your office being the same as your bedroom is not ideal, to say the least. fortunately, i live in Brooklyn where there’s no shortage of trendy coffeeshops to go and spend a few dollars on a chai and a pastry or sandwich and buckle down with some wifi.

i worked at home this morning and then, when i got hungry for lunch, i packed up and came out. I had a BLT with avocado on a croissant and when i looked around at my little table, at my three notebooks all filled with the work i have to do (and one just for my words, in case i couldn’t plug my computer in – the cover of it is the photo for this post), i was struck, as i am sometimes, with the idea that i am doing it. it is the middle of the afternoon and i’ve chosen where i want to be and what i want to be doing and i am doing this thing. i am really, actually, living this life and doing this thing and i’m grateful for every person and thing and experience that helped me get here and i am proud as hell.

Posted on February 20, 2015February 19, 2015 by dominique 0

let go and let god.

despite the title, this post has zero to do with religion. swearsies.

i have a client for whom my main task is article curation and tweet writing. that’s what i do – i find articles and write tweets based on them, and then they go through two levels of approval.

the first 3 weeks i did this, less than half of my tweets were approved. my client left me notes, we had a feedback phone call. i checked in with other people doing the same work for advice on how to improve. i worked for many more hours than it was supposed to take, trying so, so hard to succeed. and it was right there, just out of my grasp. i could feel it, but i couldn’t just do it.

one batch had something like a 30% success rate, and when i checked in, i just lost it. i burst into tears right at my desk (at my full time job), and i could not help but feel like a complete, abject failure. i was trying my hardest and i could not do it right, i could not succeed. (it’s worth noting that i only get paid for accepted content. that just made everything a little harder).

i came home and talked to the bouncer about how long to keep trying before i gave up, but also how i was enjoying the work and even, despite my disappointment at not being perfect or even, um, good, enjoying the challenge of trying. i said i would at least give it a full month before i re-evaluated. i could barely even open the documents i worked in without welling up because i felt so incapable, but i kept going.

it’s also worth noting that the client was completely kind and encouraging during this whole process, and that she believed i’d catch on and understood that it was a learning process. that someone didn’t matter as much as my feeling of “i am the worst of all time and will never improve at anything ever. womp.”

somehow, out of nowhere, i seemed to hit the magic formula. a batch came back with almost 100% acceptance, and the next one too. fairly consistently since that point, i’ve been doing great. you want to know why i think it finally happened? i chilled out about it. i couldn’t take the emotional aspect of failure anymore so i detached, promising to do my best but to not freak out if i didn’t succeed (hey look, everyone, mental health!) i stopped trying to hit on every “rule” i was supposed to follow and instead went with my gut. i trusted myself, and i elevated myself to a place where whether or not the work got accepted, i was ok.

in the recovery community, which i’m not a part of but have been tangentially involved with in the past, they have a saying – “let go and let god.” i’m not a god person, but the saying has stuck with me for years. it’s going to go how it goes. you’ll be fine either way. you’ll figure it out. there is actually nothing more you can do aside from your best, and you’ll get nowhere by freaking out after that point. so…stop. it’s a simple question of utility in the end.

life lessons all up in here, i swear it.

Posted on August 15, 2014August 11, 2014 by dominique 0

on the precipice.

(note – this was written a few weeks ago. more updates to come. swearsies)

if i were not finished with my full time job in three short days, my head would be spinning right off and i’d probably be curled in the fetal position begging someone to make it all stop.

and this has nothing to do with my job being awful – on the whole, it’s pretty great. and a huge part of me is sad to be leaving, even though i do not have the brain space or power to even process those feelings in the moment. no, i’ve got a lot of work right now – and i suppose that’s a really incredible thing, entering my first month of self employment. i should be grateful, and i AM grateful. i’m sort of just waiting for the moment when i can do it, without worrying that i’m going to drop one of my very many spinning plates. i feel like i’m walking a highwire slicked with oil.

you know, if you were a person in my life and i told you about this, i would intimate that i haven’t worked very hard and am not working very hard. i’d tell you i had a very reasonable wind-down schedule for my job, and that my client work requires no more than 10-15 hours a week and i should be able to handle that. i would tell you about how i think i must be weak because i’m always so tired – about how i had my thyroid tested because i am always so. damn. tired. i would tell you it wasn’t really that hard, i just think it’s hard because i am me. you surely wouldn’t find it hard, but i do.

it’s total bullshit, if you haven’t figured that out by now. i’ve made an entire fucking career of telling myself, telling you, that i somehow haven’t done enough – but i have done enough, and it’s finally starting to show. i have worked and AM working my entire ass off. i’m juggling three clients, two of whom require near daily attention, on top of full time work. i am sitting down at the computer post-work or on the weekends the majority of the days of the week. i am hustling, i have BEEN hustling, and it is about time that i owned that.

saying out loud, understanding for the first time, that i’m working hard and that i’m allowed to say it…it’s a big thing, for me. in high school, i took every AP class i could – one in 10th grade, four in 11th, five in 12th. i have met no one else who has done that. i went to activities after school and i went to work after activities and i came home and ate dinner at my giant L desk, head buried in a textbook. i went to sleep and set my alarm for four am so i could get up and study. i could never do enough, unless i was doing more than anyone else, unless my eyes were burning from exhaustion. it was almost more important than my actual grades – the idea that i was trying harder, working harder than anyone. the only way to do enough was to give everything.

it’s the last time in my life i felt like i was actually working hard, until this past sunday. i have work due every monday for a client, so nearly every sunday for the past several months, i’ve sat down for a chunk of hours and just done it. and it kind of sucked because sunday nights are a little sacred for me, they’re about recuperating the last bits of my energy for the week ahead, but i sucked it up and i did it and i’ve gotten better and more efficient every week. and i finally just kind of realized, in the middle of this chunk of work, that i’m doing it. i’m doing this thing, and i deserve credit for it.

there’s a lot i’ve been doing. for a long time. i’ve worked really hard, and it feels so good to actually feel that, to let my pride swell.

Posted on August 11, 2014 by dominique 0

the thing i can finally talk about

or, how i’ve learned to cope with saying “i’m leaving my full time job and focusing all of my time and energy on my business.”

MY. BUSINESS. those are actual words i say and they MEAN SOMETHING. whuuuuuuuuuut.

so, here’s a thing. i’m leaving my full time job, one that i’ve enjoyed a solid 90% of the time, and striking out on my own. i’m growing my own small business, starglass media, specializing in website builds, social media strategy and management, and email marketing for entrepreneurs, small businesses, and nonprofits. yes. that is the thing i’m doing.

you wouldn’t think a sentence carries so much weight but whoa, you’re wrong. it’s so many things. let’s start with some history.

a year and a half ago, maybe longer, i got an itch. i thought that maybe it was time for a change. i looked around at other positions and some of them seemed awesome, but i couldn’t get excited about them. the thought of trudging into an office on someone else’s time for the rest of forever felt stifling, even for a job i might love doing.

and i remembered of all of the inspiring people i know who have made a self-employed life work for them, and i thought of how i had always felt leagues behind them, different from them, and i thought about why. was i really so different? (no) did my skills translate to freelance and consulting work? (yes) what was stopping me? (fear)

i was fortunate enough to begin these conversations with two amazing entrepreneurial friends, a married couple for whom I’d sign on to be a sister wife if we were all into that. they were my own incubator, my encouragers, my first clients, and my teachers and mentors. last year, i took on 5 clients and made an extra $5k, working on top of my full time job – one month, it was two separate projects and 25 hours, including a week’s vacation with no work. it was exhausting, and though i originally envisioned doing it for at least a year, i burnt out quickly. some will tell you you have to run yourself until midnight every day and all weekend and i’ll be totally real; i could not do that without completely mentally cracking. so i took a break, in the fall of 2013, with an intention to re-evaluate in the new year.

sure enough, early on in 2014, the itch came back and i decided it had to be time. i’d just gotten myself out of debt, i was in a great position to save, and i finally felt like I had to try. like the risk of going splat was worth jumping off the cliff. i put my feelers out for clients again, i started swimming in new opportunities (not all of which were a good fit. learning to have uncomfortable conversations, check!), i fired myself back up and got back in the game. i slowly told the people who mattered most and have always been trusted advisors to me. i drank up their encouragement, and it sustained me. i set a date. i took care of medical concerns while i still have health insurance. i socked away money like it was penicillin before the apocalypse.

and here i am, three-ish months after that decision (it feels longer). i’ve told my co-workers and turned in a resignation letter and set an end date (july 31st). i sat down with the HR department and tied up my loose ends.

this is happening, this is real. i waver every day between thinking i’m going to be living in a cardboard box by the end of the year and imagining my jetsetter, world traveler life, working in quaint coffee shops and by hotel pools. i know i’ll probably land somewhere in the middle of that. i’m happy that i can finally share this – it’s been the most inspiring thing, creatively, that i’ve encountered in a very long time. i hope with all of me that it stays that way, and that you stick around for the rest of the ride.

Posted on June 26, 2014June 26, 2014 by dominique 0

i was skinny for six months.

this isn’t the post i intended to write, after a three month absence, but it’s the post that’s happened

i say sometimes, “i was skinny for six months. i also wanted to throw myself off of the george washington bridge, so…” and i trail off and mumble something about depression. it’s comfortable because it’s a lie; it’s a lie all around. i’m 5’1″ on a good day and i was a size six, so i wasn’t skinny, i was passably average. and i didn’t consider throwing myself off a bridge, exactly. i did frequently wonder if i could muster up the nerve to step in front of traffic. i sobbed, hard, whenever i tried and failed to explain how and why i wasn’t alright. i made therapy appointments wherein i explained my symptoms, including weight loss, and quickly followed with, “no, i don’t need to gain it back. that’s the one good thing that’s come out of this.” most importantly, i lost my appetite, i easily cut my consumption in half if not more, and i was smaller than i’d ever been. it was a small light shining in a great darkness.

i got out of darkness and i went back to where i’d started and then some, size wise. sometimes, i’ve wished to trade it back. i’ll take the misery, just make it easier to buy clothes. make me not ashamed to exist outside of my four walls. make me not cry every time I’m getting ready to go out for a night and i can’t stand myself. i’ll take it back, just make me smaller.

what i’m getting at, the lede that i suppose i’ve buried, is that it feels like i’m not allowed to talk about it because i never achieved the goal. i read about women who battled eating disorders in high school, college, and my every sympathy is with them. then they say, “and then everything evened out and i’m (insert small size here) now.” 2, 4, 6. then an invisible wall goes up, because even though we came from the same struggle, i am now The Other. i am The Nightmare, i am The Cautionary Tale. i am What Could Have Been, but thank god is not.

i never hear, “i’ve fought this my whole life and my body will not naturally sit at the place you consider normal,” so i’m telling you, that’s what i am. i fought the same battles and because of my damage i don’t know any other way to put it besides that you won and I lost. those who preach, you must realize by now, are their own intended subjects. i don’t know if it is because i fucked up my body well and good when i was younger, i don’t know why i am this way, but i am. this is what i am, this is the shell that houses me.

i make the subtle self deprecating jokes in public settings because it’s safest that way, because i have to make sure everyone knows i don’t think too highly of myself. there’s a lot of intersectionality there between weight and womanhood but i don’t have the energy to dive deeply into it. i’ve learned to do it in the way that doesn’t make everyone think you’re begging for their compliments or asking for contradiction, but in a small enough way that says, “i know my place.” i do this not because i believe in my heart that i should, but because it seems like my responsibility to culture as a whole. if i were a braver woman i’d refuse, and there are days i do, but they’re not often enough.

this is not a topic i can tie up in a neat little bow. it’s deep and complicated and the history is heavy and it is woven through my every single day, and this is just how i feel about it right now. it’s not an easy fight. i suppose nothing is.

Posted on June 19, 2014June 19, 2014 by dominique 4

friendships, trust, and what it means to be reliant.

my friend Kate recently wrote a post about her friendships and how she does, or doesn’t, rely on people and what that says about trust and vulnerability. i started to comment, and realized i have my own story to tell.

when i was in my early 20s my life was an unholy mess, most of the time. i relied in my small friend circle for absolutely everything – without them, i would have crumpled right into the ground and never gotten up. i called them, i chatted them, i visited them, i said “help me.” i said it a lot, and they never faltered. they’re almost all gone, now. and those wounds gouged me in huge ways – i’ve written about them before, about a boy in minnesota and a girl who lied and there are other stories that i don’t even know how to tell.

i’ve crawled into a shell since then, since even after then, and it would be easy to say it is because they hurt me. but it’s not just the loss of them that’s formed my habits today. you get more private as you get older, you hold your truths, your secrets, closer to the chest, you narrow down what love and friendship mean. i was once the most raw creature, you could see all of my facts written across everything i said or did. i would lay them bare for you with the slightest provocation. i’m not this, anymore, and it’s not just because i was hurt. the answers are rarely so simple.

i’ve turned over in my mind, a thousand times, the balance between what is normal, what i should be, how i should act, and what is the overprotection of my heart. i don’t know where the bar balances – i don’t know where the middle point is. (i rarely do.)

there was a moment a while back where everything was terrible and the bouncer and i were in a horrific fight and i sat at the computer and stared at my gchat, all of the green and red and orange dots and went through every name and said “there is no one i can talk to. not because they would not listen, but because i will not let myself need them.” it hit me like the proverbial brick wall, and it made everything about the moment worse. i cried harder – the holes are so much more desperate when you’re alone in them.

there’s no neat and tidy answer here. i’m working on it slowly, just like i have been for the past few years. there are crests and valleys, times when friends tell me they miss me and ask me where i’ve gone, times when someone will ask why i’ve been mean and i have to admit it is self defense, times when i feel the glowlight of real connection buzzing right in the middle of my chest. it’s a journey, right?

Posted on March 19, 2014March 19, 2014 by dominique 3

hitting pause.

note: this was written back in the fall, in the middle of me taking a week-long break from social media. it’s something i’m considering making a quarterly habit.

so i took a break from social media. here’s why, and what i learned.

the why: it wasn’t fun anymore. it’s compulsive, it’s habitual, and it’s contributing to my brain feeling pulled in eight directions at all times. and it sounds bizarre, but when shit gets tangled in my life, i numb out via the internet and with twitter and facebook there’s always more. every second. and i think it became unhealthy, the way i just tune out to a screen when i can’t deal with my world or my head. and when i’m in that place, i don’t really see anyone or anything in a positive light even things that are perfectly innocuous. all in all, not good. i went into this wanting to quiet my lizard brain and see if it changed the way i feel overall.

some results:

a) i’m more productive. who’s surprised? without the constant distraction or siren call of the twitter, i do the shit i need to get done.

b) i’m calmer. without comparing my life constantly to what everyone else is doing and how that makes me feel, i process my own feelings much better.

c) it’s surprisingly not that hard. i removed my personal streams from hootsuite, i made a secondary Facebook to manage my work stuff, i removed the apps from my phone screens. i miss knowing what friends are doing or saying, but i’m in touch with those that matter most anyway via other channels.

d) i’m better at communicating with friends. i have the time and mental space to send an email or text, so i do.

e) i’m more present. i, in general, have a difficult time feeling integrated with the physical world around me. i spend a lot of time in my head and i usually feel kind of separated from, well, pretty much everything. while that hasn’t changed, this has forced me to confront that, as i don’t have the veil to hide behind.

f) i’m reading! and writing! i have more time, it feels like. i’m probably saving a few hours every day and i’m doing other things with that time, and that feels good.

i know some of you have also taken breaks from the internet – tell me what you learned.

Posted on February 4, 2014February 3, 2014 by dominique 1

7 Ways to Be More Frugal

i never realized that i was very good at saving money, because in my adult life it’s usually been necessary. being frugal feels normal, for me.

here’s a fact: i was financially independent starting at 17 and i put myself through college. i began living off campus and paying rent starting at 19, at dee’s house. a large portion of my tuition was covered by scholarships, but a good chunk of it wasn’t and in order to stay in school, i had to come up with $10Kish every year, in addition to living expenses. i never thought about it as a whole picture at the time – it was more a constant series of “i need $500 for this month’s rent”, “i need $300 for books”, “i need to put gas in my car”. so, i went about making the money i needed to, and cutting costs where i could. i developed some habits, and they’ve stuck with me over the years.

here are some of the things i do to save dollars:

1) i cut my own hair. i’m kind of lucky on this one, because i have curly hair and mistakes are easily forgiven. but fear not – there are a plethora of youtube tutorials on how to do this yourself, with good results. i think the last time i had a salon cut was three years ago – they’re insanely expensive in nyc, and i don’t miss them. also fancy environments make me feel weird and anxious, so i’m totally fine sticking to my bathroom. pro tip though: do order a pair of actual haircutting scissors. they’re not expensive and they do make a difference (spoken from experience).

2) i’m not fancy: i have bags from payless and clothes from target and old navy. i let myself buy things only when i actually need them – as in, when they are replacing something else that has worn out, or when i’ve noticed an emerging need over time (such as, “wow, self, it’s 60 degrees every day and you have tank tops. maybe it’s time for sweaters”). most of the time, i just tell myself no, and delete the email/click away from the tab that’s enticing me with something out of my price range. i refuse to put clothes on credit cards, and force myself to stick to the money i actually have. i’m an abstainer, not a moderator, so this works really well for me.

3) i cook: i know, some of you are totally averse to this, and I GET IT. there have been weeks on end where i relied on frozen pot pies and pizza delivery because LIFE. i know. that said, if you can make time for it (and you can), you’ll save a very huge amount of restaurant/delivery money. and start basic! roast a chicken (it’s actually really easy – here’s a great starter recipe), do rice+beans+veggies, or omelettes, or a simple pasta. you don’t need to martha stewart it out here. save that shit for the weekend. take one hour on a sunday and chop a bunch of veggies, and some lettuce for salads – most of that will keep in the fridge for the week, and you’ll save time when you’re tired after a workday.

4) i plan: so when you get to cooking level 2, you can do things like note when meat is on sale and dedicate a large portion of your grocery budget to it. then you have a lot of chicken (or beef, or whatever). you’ll get to the point where you always have something in the freezer, and you got it on sale because you are SMART. also in the food realm – plan ahead for your meals. even, like, two of them. this is where the sunday prep time comes in super handy. real life example – tonight, i made this butternut squash soup (and it’s pretty great, so i’ll recommend it). last night, i was lacking some of the ingredients, but i did have the squash and the sweet potatoes and the onions so i chopped them up and saved them in the fridge. once i picked up the stock and apple i needed tonight, throwing everything together was SO easy.

5) i use things until they’re done: look, I KNOW THIS SOUNDS INSANE, and you’re free to laugh at me in the comments. the comments are there for you, but this is for me, so here’s my freak flag. you know white stick deodorant? you know how when you’re done using it, there’s a little plastic grid left, with deodorant stuck in it’s squares? yes. i poke out the deodorant, put it in a plastic snack bag, and apply it with my fingers for as long as it lasts, which is usually another two weeks. something less insane: i try to apply this philosophy to as many consumable items as i can. and this goes perfectly with the next item…

6) i fix things: i have an ikea dresser that’s at least seven years old. it’s a lovely dresser and it’s in excellent cosmetic condition. except that thing happened where all the drawer bottoms started sagging. so i googled how to fix it (hint: it involves strong glue) and i fixed it, one drawer at a time, for a week. i have a cheap full length mirror. the mirror started to detach from the frame on the back. duct tape, guys. duct tape. it leans against the wall – the back doesn’t need to be pretty, and the mirror still works just fine. most of the things you own are reparable, with a little research and time. did you know you can fix a cracked eyeshadow or blush? do you know how to sew a basic tear on a clothing item, or replace a button? it’s totally worth learning.

7) i research: do yourself a favor right now and sign up for ebates and fatwallet. they are not scams – when you visit certain retailers through either of those sites and make a purchase, you will get a small percentage of cash back. is it huge? nope, not at all, but it’s something. ebates even has a chrome extension which will LIGHT UP when cash back is available. don’t ever make an online purchase without checking retailmenot. i actually don’t use these (YET!), but there are services that will track amazon items for you and let you know when the prices dip. camelcamelcamel is one, but there are others. also, just google the stuff you want and see if you find better prices somewhere else – i just saved $60 on a pair of awesome boots because i used google’s shopping search. i ended up buying them from a site called rogansshoes.com, but what do i care? spend five minutes with google, and your checking account will thank you.

8) i wait: this is a biggie. most of the time, when i want something that’s non-trivial, i wait a while to get it. either to make sure i really need it, or to make sure it’s worth the expense. sometimes this lands me in a spot where i feel sort of like a hobo (such as earlier this winter when none of my boots kept my feet dry), but hey, i’ve made sure that i’ve gotten as much use as i can out of a product. i wait until things i want go on sale. my advice is this – pick a dollar amount – let’s say it’s $30. the next time you want something that’s over $30, make yourself wait a week. do you still need or want it? how strong is that want? if it’s not quite strong enough, wait another week. usually you can wait out your own desires, or at least save them until your birthday or another gift-giving holiday.

how do you find ways to save some dollars here and there?

Posted on January 27, 2014January 21, 2014 by dominique 9

LolaSangria